i cleaned it out today. yes me, the slobby, if not strikingly handsome young man, did some cleaning. so here i sit. on the other side of what ended up being a laborious 2 hour process in which i deleted 2773 unread emails and countless read ones. it's amazing sitting and reading back over them, and trying to remember the kind of person i was when i received them. I still had e-mails from when i was with Emma-may. which may not have been the easiest time of my life, for all involved, including her, i am sure. but i look back, and i see someone completely different who those emails were addressed to. a man with my face and name, but nothing else. then disputes within my old circle of friends, that would eventually lead to the breakup of a band, and the members not talking untill recently.
this leads to two things.
1. - doubts about my character, and how i have changed.
2. - very unsavoury thoughts about oneself.
i think overall this was a very positive experience, and i dont feel so bad about my current situation anymore.
where i used to be was much more fucking dark.
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